Something pissed me off.
I usually don't get mad. It takes a while for me to get mad. But oh.. this got me mad.
I ran the conversation over in my head during all three lectures. I couldn't get it out of my head and all the thinking all the reruns just kept me angry. What makes them so great that they can say that to me? I wasn't doing anything wrong. They're doing things much worse than me. Hypocrites.
I go into work and look at the list of stuff to do today and sigh. I was in a complain-y mood. I reread number one on my list as I put on a once white now brown lab-coat. I dragged a cart of dirty cages out of the elevator and into the cage washing room. (It's where the cage washer is. It's a big machine that washes cages.) The job of unloading and loading cages is tedious and boring so someone had been nice enough to place a radio off to the corner. As I angrily loaded the cages into the cagewasher, christian music softly played in the background. I soon forgot about what I was angry about and just ended up singing along to the songs. I finished loading and pushed the on button. The cage washer noisily started up covering up the music. Back in my thoughts again, now a little bit calmer. I began to think.
I shouldn't be angry. Ugh. Why do I let anger control me and ruin my whole day? God, help me. I am a hypocrite too. God, please let me forgive them. I probably do hundreds of things worse than them. I'm not better than them. What makes me better than them? God, forgive me.
As I headed back downstairs on the elevator I wished that I had my ipod with me. Recently I got into a habit of listening to this one song on repeat to calm me down, rethink my thoughts, and meditate. Savior, Please by Josh Wilson. I usually bring it with me, but today I was in a rush and I forgot it. I really wished I had the song to listen to.
I continued to do other tasks and it was soon time to go unload the cagewasher. I headed back upstairs to the steam-filled room now quiet enough to hear the music. I started taking the cages out and stacking them up onto the cart I brought them in when I heard a familiar melody coming from the radio. The first 5 seconds of the song had played and I recognized it in an instant and smiled. Smiled in unbelief, in shock, in awe, in gratitude. Savior, Please was playing.
God knows your needs even when you don't ask.
Friday, February 26, 2010
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